I recently fell (uncontrolled) from a handstand into a wheel, which is fine if you have the right muscles activated, but I was tired and not fully present and I fell. My spine got compressed and I was running around (literally) with pain, pushing through though cause there was so much to be organized before leaving to Portugal to start a new job. I kept on practicing yoga (with handstands and backbends and all of that cause I love it) and also who am I even if I don't do yoga?
When going to an osteopath after 10 days of a still hurting spine, she told me, after the treatment of bringing every vertebra back to its place, to stop doing yoga for a week so that the spine can rest and reset after being compressed through the fall. I was immediately panicking inside, cause not being on the mat isn't the easiest thing for me to do. But turned out it is exactly what my body and soul needed.
Simultaneously my coworker said to me: "in Columbia (where she is from) people still know how to do nothing, how to enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing. Just watch the ocean and don't do anything else." So after work I went to the ocean (without a book even), watched the waves and didn't do anything else. And watching the waves roll in, I realized how exhausted I actually feel from the last years really. What a busy life I've created by studying my master, having a job at university for some time and building my own business at the same time. I was challenging myself over and over again, I was choosing to grow, to try new things and to keep on working for my dreams. And I loved that life, most of the times. But there were (as with everything in life) also downsides of being self-employed and studying. Namely, a lot of stress and no clear boundaries of work and freetime (at all). I knew deep down in my heart I needed a change from that. I wasn't used to doing nothing, the way my coworker described it. And my heart was craving it, my body and soul were in need of rest.
So I decided to re-evaluate my priorities. And for the first time in years, I decided to prioritize myself over me in my profession as a yoga teacher. To prioritize sitting at the beach and watching the waves instead of reading a book to learn more about yoga (or anything else). To prioritize my heath and well-being before supporting others in theirs. Cause what is it worth if I don't offer myself the same patience, time and rest that I am trying to bring into other peoples life as a yoga teacher?
I am deciding to practice the sweetness of doing nothing. And that might even mean to step back from practicing yoga for a week at least. Cause that is yoga off the mat: to listen to your body and soul what you really need and to give yourself permission to do that instead of continuing to do what you are used to do. My heart is craving for a little break from teaching the classes I have been teaching the last 5 years (namely Hatha Flow and Vinyasa classes). And believe me, stepping a bit back from teaching these classes for a while is one of the hardest things for me. Because I love it so much. And at the same time my heart is telling me to take a break from it, even if that's the most challenging thing for me, or maybe exactly because that is the most challenging thing for me.
I'm gonna rest to come back even clearer in my intention and spirit and more whole in my heart and own well-being. So if you might need to hear that as much as I do right now, here is a reminder for both of us: Don't forget to prioritize your own heath and well-being, you only have one body in this life.
